Headfirst

So not to cut to the chase or anything, but - to cut to the chase...

This past week I've been thinking a lot about what it means to really be a living sacrifice.  And how I don't ever want to be that person who talks big game but never actually does anything.  I don't want to be the "Sunday Christian" who only "believes" on Sundays at church.  But I sit here wallowing in confusion 'cause I can't go anywhere unless I know where I'd rather be.

So the question remains - where would (or who would) I rather be?

That, readers, I cannot tell you.  But if there's any place to begin it's in prayer.  Do you ever have days (or weeks) (...or months) when you feel like you are seriously lacking in the prayer-sphere?  Well that was this week for me.  There were things I was frustrated about and people I was angry with and I just "didn't feel like" taking any of it to God.  Isn't it so easy to praise Him and love Him when we're happy and everything's great?  Why is it that right when we hit a rough patch it's like we forget all about Him who is right there carrying us, suffering with us?

So, God, what does it mean to be your living sacrifice?

Here was His answer to me this week:

Do the work I set out for you even if it isn't "pleasant".

Trust the fact that I've held you all your life and have a plan that your human brain could never comprehend.

Since you gave your life to Me, it isn't about you.  

Never underestimate an opportunity to share My love.

Lately I've been reading the book of Isaiah.  I am still in the early chapters, but there are two themes that are rather apparent.  God's wrath.  And God's protection.  He wants us to know He is here protecting us and keeping us safe in His arms.  But He also wants us to know He can give and take - it's not up to us to decide.

Something else that has been weighing on my mind this week is the concept of letting go.  It has been a struggle for me all of my life - and in countless others' too.  When is it right to keep holding on and when is it better to let go?  I think the answer has been clear for quite some time but I just denied it.  Just a few moments ago, I reached a conclusion after finding the most obvious sign.  I think God was getting tired of my going back and forth so He said - HERE! LOOK! THIS IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU!

I was reading a blog that was talking about similar issues that I am dealing with.  The blogger began the post with this quote:

Whoa, LORD!  Thanks for that crystal clear message!  Sometimes God slowly, subtly nudges us in the right direction.  But other times, He shoves us headfirst in the way He knows is right for us.

Have a great week!

My inspiration: Letting Go, Isaiah chapters 1-10, prayer

You Have My Word

Hi readers!

I want to apologize for my absence last week...I hate making excuses, especially when there aren't any good ones...but let's just say this week was crazy!  Why was it crazy?

Three words.  Midterms.  Auditions.  Birthday.

To answer your questions: Yes, I survived my midterm exams.  Yes, I made it into the ensemble for my school's spring musical.  And yes, I turned another year older.  Enough of that already, though...we've got some serious blogging to do!  :)

I would normally do two separate posts for all the topics I want to write about today, but since I skipped a week you're just gonna have to hold on to your pantyhose and bear with me!  So you're probably wondering  (as am I) why I haven't blogged about my love of all things theatrical yet.  I sit here thinking (dangerous, I know) "How are any of your readers going to understand you if they don't understand you?"  Okay, readers, I think we ought to get something straight.

I HAVE NO LIFE.  (Other than theater.)
I do not play a sport.
I (no longer) practice a musical instrument.
I am not in any clubs or organizations.
You may think it sad, and it may very well be, but I'll have you know (so you won't worry needlessly), in my world THEATER = LIFE.

Now that we have that cleared up I feel that I can move on with my blogging, though in the future you should expect to read a lot more about my theater life because I cannot express my love for it in so few words as I did today to spare you of one of my many long and annoying theater rants. (Sorry Mom, Dad, brothers, and close friends for all those hours of your life you will never get back!!!) :)

Okay...onward.
If you can recall a couple weeks ago on my last post (or if you read it below), I said I would be posting again soon (LIES!) about my "One Word" for the year.  I also told you to read "graceland" to learn about this "One Word" concept since I am not going to explain it.

Well, I pondered and pondered and PONDERED about what word I would choose.  Then I wrote my candidates out on index cards and I pondered and pondered and OBSESSED.  Then I carried them around with me, looked at them, said them.  And I just could NOT decide.  New words kept popping into my head day after day.  But nothing struck me.  At last I thought I had settled on FREE.

Then I tossed and turned and was set on FAITH.  Cliche.
I searched my heart and tried to just "let the word come to me".  I thought I had pinpointed it at last - TRUST.  Alright, I said.  I'm ready to blog about it - ALLONSY!
Then last Sunday morning when I sat in Sunday School discussing with the rest of the class, we started talking about something that just struck a chord in me.  Somewhere deep down.  And it kind of stung because it felt like one of those times when someone is brutally honest with you, and you know you can't be mad because they were so devastatingly RIGHT.

I'll admit, it's actually two words (I know I'm such a cheater).  But when I stopped running around in a frenzy and over-thinking (me, over-thinking, imagine that!), it was so blatantly OBVIOUS what God was trying to tell me.

LIVING SACRIFICE.

What did God tell us?
Did He not say to us:

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged; for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"For it is better to suffer for doing good; if that should be God's will, then for doing evil."

1 Peter 2:17

"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess His name." Hebrews 13:15

To be a LIVING SACRIFICE to God and to His people is something that is so distant and foreign to our society, even as Christians, that we forget about it and neglect it.  God gave us the ultimate sacrifice - His son.  The least that we can do is LIVE for Him.  He calls us to REJOICE in our sufferings!  REJOICE!  Because we are facing trials for HIM - trials so SMALL compared to what Jesus went through FOR US.  WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS.  

So I chose this as my "One (or two) Word(s)" for the year because it is our calling above all else.  To be a LIVING SACRIFICE.  And I am sincere and earnest about living it out.  So please TELL ME about your "One Word(s)" for this year!  Let's join together and encourage each other in them!  The more people you tell, the more people can hold you accountable!  I'm counting on you to hold me accountable!  Don't let me forget. :)  

So let's go. Let's here your WORDS.  

My inspiration: THEATER. OUR CALLING. OUR GOD.

...Love, Anna...

Day by Day

Hello out there. :)

Hopefully you've all survived your first week of the year 2013.  Is it just me or is there a hopeful ring to that? A new year is always full of such hope.  We see commercials about losing weight, getting organized, paying off debt, etc.  It's a new year!  It's a new you!

Let's be honest.

From the second the ball dropped on New Year's Eve to the minute you woke up on New Year's Day, nothing really changed at all.  Same you.  Different calendar.  But I'm not here to depress you and tell you that you can't change because that would be wrong and that would be cruel.  No, rather I'd like to give you hope.  Not the kind that a new year provides or a diet will satisfy or a planner will give.  Rather a hope that lasts and cannot be vanquished by darkness or the hardships another year may bring.

I'll admit, I give into the same false hopes every new year like any other average human would.  This Christmas break I thought and planned until my brain turned into scrambled eggs and eventually I just gave up and became overwhelmed.  We all want to change.  And, believe me when I tell you, the list was endless for me.  Ways I could be better.  Ways I could be prettier.  Ways I could be kinder, smarter, skinnier, more talented.

HUSH.

Said that voice that I always hear but rarely listen to.

I AM YOUR GOD. I AM IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE. I DECIDE HOW AND WHEN TO SHAPE AND MOLD YOU TO MY PERFECT WILL AND PLAN.

Oh.

My heart said as I realized that change will not and cannot happen overnight.  God holds my heart and He is ever so gently and patiently guiding me to where and who He wants me to be.

So this week take sometime to think about what God is saying, not what the ever-changing mutters of your heart are trying to convince you.  I always used to think there would be a magical moment in my life when I saw everything so clearly and completely turned around and then everything would just be so perfect from then on.  That is not the case.

Day by day, God is changing me.  I feel it.  I hear it.  I see it.  He is teaching me to bend to His will and not my own.  He knows me more than I know myself.  Every step I take is closer to Him.  And that is our HOPE.  That is our JOY.  I am young and I am probably naive in many ways, but I know this:

Nothing will ever satisfy you unless it comes from Him.  Nothing will ever bring you peace or hope or joy unless it comes from Him.  You can try to change on your own.  You can lose those five more pounds, organize your house, buy that new phone, wear that new makeup, rock that pretty dress, run that extra mile, get that gold medal, ace that exam.  Doesn't matter.

It is Him who gives us HOPE.  And it is Him who changes us.

When I started this blog, I said I was making a resolution to WRITE more, READ more, PRAY more, and LIVE more.  In the weeks to come, I will be letting you know how this progress is going and I hope this week to blog about my "One Word" (check out graceland) so stick around!   And also don't forget to read my brother's blog (Sitting Down to Bleed) because he is a constant source of inspiration.

This week remember:

"What does not satisfy when we find it, was not the thing we were desiring." ~C.S. Lewis

"My peace I give to you, not as the world gives do I give to you, let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." ~John 14:27

DECIDE WHAT TO BE AND GO BE IT.  ~The Avett Brothers

My inspiration: Hope (Hebrews 10:19-39)

...Love, Anna...