Follow Me

Every once and a while my older brother will teach me a few swing dance steps for fun.  I told him that this summer he is going to teach me everything he knows about swing dancing.  But the couple times he's tried to teach me, he's always said, "Anna, the key to swing dancing is that you have to let me lead.  The man is supposed to lead - you're supposed to follow me."  I always joked saying that "I'm just not a follower, I guess." and would end up getting too frustrated because I couldn't let go and just follow my brother.

I've always seen myself as a leader, and I'm usually the one being followed, not the follower.  I'm also rather stubborn and I know I have trouble letting go.  This is because I want to be "strong enough" to handle things on my own and not to need anyone's help.  I want to be the helper.  I want to be the leader.  I don't want to follow.

I feel that in order to become God's living sacrifice, I must firstly learn to let Him alone lead me.  Life is a scary dance floor and it's easy to be lead by the wrong dance partner.  But that has never been my problem. I think my problem is wanting to dance alone.  And that's the thing - the last thing God wants for His children is for them to have to be alone, to bear all of their burdens on their own.  He's here leading us and there's nothing He wants more than to protect us and help us in His perfect time and way.

Lately I've been reading the book of Isaiah (a beautiful book, though challenging at times) and this week as I read I stumbled across a couple verses that really struck me.

(Isaiah 30:18) Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts Himself to show mercy to you.  For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him....(vs. 21) He will be gracious to you at the sound of your cry.

How wonderful is it that we have a God who not only SAVED us, but who also WAITS to be gracious to us...who LONGS to show us mercy?!  After I read this it really made me realize how much I need to be more trusting and more open to my Father - calling on His name, following Him.  I know that my tendency to rely on myself stems from deeper problems of pride.  And I know also that I am in so much more need of my Savior than I ever knew.  I am need of His help, His love, His patience, His wisdom.

And there's nothing I want more than to be able to say:

"Give up ALL, take your CROSS, and FOLLOW Him."  Matthew 16:24

God is calling me, and He is calling you to be followers of Him.  And for me to be a living sacrifice, I have to let Jesus lead me, I have to stop trying to run the show.  And I have to start trusting that He will be near when I cry out and I have to start letting Him closer into my heart.  

And maybe, just maybe, once I start doing that I will be a better dancer too! :)

...Love, Anna....

My inspiration: Dancing, Isaiah 30, Luke 9:23-27

A Writer's Life

This week my problem is this: I simply have TOO MUCH to write about.

Sigh.

I woke up this morning (it just happens to be President's Day so we are off of school) with my head brimming with ideas and words and things to say.  Maybe it's the sunshine.  Maybe it's the coffee.  Maybe it's just crazy old me. :)  Anyway, I've been sitting here trying to calm my mind down a bit and decide what exactly I am going to end up writing about on this fine, sunny afternoon.  

So I decided to break it down.  Break down everything I've learned and written about so far on this blog.  When I set out on this blogging adventure, unsure whether it would end up being a success or a debacle, I had some goals in mind.

WRITE more - I have to tell you I haven't written so much in my life until this year.  I've always loved to write.  There's never been a time in my life that I remember when I didn't write.  It's just what I do.  It seems so funny when someone asks me "So, Anna, are you still writing?".  I don't want to sound rude, but sometimes it makes me laugh.  When someone asks me that question, it sounds to me as if they asked, "So, Anna, are you still breathing?".  It's not a logical question to me.  If I'm still alive, I'm still writing.  It's just what it is.  But I'm getting horribly off topic, aren't I?  This blog has really helped me grow as a writer thus far and my goal to "WRITE more" is being fulfilled every week!

READ more - I'd like to think I'm reading more.  In fact, yes I am.  But I have this weird habit with books.  If I really love a book, I actually start to read it more slowly.  This is because I don't want it to be over.  I become unhealthily attached to the characters in the book and I just can't bear to finish it because if I do I'll have to move on to new books and that would mean letting go of those characters and that would also meaning coping with reality.

PRAY more - A touchy subject for a lot of people.  This is because prayer is so personal, so intimate.  This is also because people don't want to be honest about their prayer life.  We all know we all should be praying - praying a lot.  Jesus prayed ALL THE TIME.  None of us want to admit it when we aren't praying as we should - or even at all.  But another goal of mine in this blog was to be honest - to be completely, painfully REAL.  I do feel that I have grown stronger in my prayers, that I've gotten better at praying for people.  But the one thing about my prayer life that has been nagging at me is my inconsistency.  I love to pray and I pray a lot, but it's only ever on my time.  When I FEEL like praying.  God didn't tell us to only pray when we are happy, or when we're sad, or when we're at church.  He wants us near to Him at all times - calling on His precious name - in times of joy, in times of trial, in times of silence.  

THINK more - Oh, goodness, Anna.  Why did I even put this as "a goal".  Dear me.  I do not need to think any more than I do nor do I want to.  I think my brain and my heart bear enough for more than one person.  But, I will say this.  Maybe it wasn't my exact intention at first, but now I think it could be.  Maybe we should be thinking and setting our minds on things more like this:

LIVE more - My intentions for this are also rather unclear to me.  HOWEVER, my One Word 2013 does entail some living, doesn't it?  What it means to truly be a "living sacrifice".  It must include living more.  Living more for Him, and less for me.  

What have I learned from this 5-month-and-counting journey so far? 

~I do, in fact, have a lot to say.

~There is, in fact, a lot of inspiration around us everyday if we just take the time to look.

~I don't, in fact, write to get any praise.  I write to write because I love to write. (Right?)

~God is, in fact, working through this blog in my life and in others'.

~I have discovered, in fact, I am more hopelessly in love with words than ever before.

What a grand old time I've had on this blog - and hope to have in future months (years??!!) and I hope that y'all readers out there (identified and unknown) have, too!  I can't wait to see what comes of these future weeks and posts and I can't wait to write goodness knows what comes out of this mind of mine!

...Love, Anna...

My inspiration: 

What is Never Spoken

I've often thought about what it would be like to have a little sister.  Someone who I could nurture and who could look up to me for wisdom and guidance.  I love giving my words to others' because words are one of God's greatest gifts to me.

As it happens, I do not have a little sister, and that is the way God wanted it.  I am ever grateful for the two amazing older brothers He did grant me.  However, I still want to share this wisdom that I possess.

Here's something you may not know about me: I know a lot about life.  I don't know how, really.  It's something God has blessed me with.  Deep and profound knowledge and wisdom about life.  Most don't realize this, but it's true.  And something I've been learning lately, as my Mom would put it, "Sometimes it's okay to be 15 and not 35."

She's right, of course.

But for now, let me be 35 for a moment.  If I did indeed had a little sister, here are a few things (and I'm sure I could probably say a lot more!) I would tell her that I've learned so far in my lifetime.

1. Confidence is a tricky thing.  Too little, and the world will swallow you up.  Too much, and the world will spit you back out.  You have to find the right balance for yourself.  Don't look for confidence in other people.  Find it in yourself.  You decide what you think of yourself; you decide what defines you.

2. Don't ever try to fit a mold.  You should never force yourself into someone you aren't.  The world thinks they know who you should be, but they don't.  The world measures beauty by scales and numbers, talent by arrogance and applause, and love by boasting and flamboyancy.  No one can be good at everything, but everyone is good at something.  Find that something and don't give up on it, not even when it's hard.  Let what you love be what you do.

3. Don't fight for a spot in someone's life.  If that person wants you there, he or she will keep you there.  You shouldn't have to try too hard or be someone else to please them.  And don't let anyone use you.  Be kind, be a friend, but don't let that friendship only be one-sided and exhausting.  Respecting others must stem firstly from respecting yourself.

4. Let no kind words go unsaid.  It's painful to say something you didn't really mean.  But it's more painful to regret not saying something kind you really did.

5. Never underestimate prayer.  It's easy to pass off a problem as "too trivial for God".  Believe me, it's not.  God is HERE, God is LISTENING, God is ANSWERING in His own time and in His own way.  But remember that it is His will and not our own.

6. Don't be intimidated or embarrassed.  We are all humans here, stumbling around blindly in a world where we don't belong.  Don't let anyone intimidate you or embarrass you.  They've cried, too.  They've hurt, too.  They're fighting their own battles, too.

7. Remember who He made you to be, because who you are is bound to change.

8. Love selflessly.  Expect nothing in return. God loved us while we were still sinners.

9. Be willing to admit and apologize for your faults, but you should never have to apologize for who you are. If they don't like it, it's their loss and not yours.

10. Most of all, give the glory to God.  Set your mind on the things eternal, for everything in this life will soon fade away.  In the meantime, pray, smile, give, love, write, find your passion, and be a voice.  You never know who you're inspiring.

I'm not really sure why I felt like sharing this with y'all this week.  I just got this feeling - maybe a Holy Spirit nudge - to put this advice "out there".  Maybe someone who really needs to hear it will read this.  Maybe God is doing some crazy stuff through this blog that I don't even know about.

But I just want to take this moment to say thanks, LORD.

Thanks for sunshine.
Thanks for beauty.
Thanks for words.

...Love, Anna...

My inspiration: "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." -E.E. Cummings

Our Joys

Lately I've been counting my blessings.  A lot.  

I've been looking for something "bad" happening in my life and I've  found that my life is PRETTY DARN AMAZING.  

And then I've started wondering why.  Why did God give me so many blessings (of which I lost count, by the way)?  Why do I get to have so much?

And this year especially God has been opening my eyes to so much going on in the world - so much sadness, hurt, starvation, and loss.  

And recently I've just been really thinking about how much we complain and how petty our complaints are.  Sometimes I stop and think about all of the splendor we live in.  Think about it, really.  We go to the grocery store and there are isles and isles of food and there's not just one kind of potato chips to choose from - there's twenty.  

There are places in this world - not just in poor countries, but here in our town, in our state, in our country - where people don't have anything to eat.  There are places where people have to walk hours just to get water - and there's no guarantee that it is clean.  We just walk over to the faucet and don't think twice about it.

Now, believe me, I am not trying to depress you or make you feel guilty.  There is a point I am trying to get to.  

The point is this.  We all complain and we all try to justify our complaints.  But the thing that's been bothering me so much lately is that we take so much of our time complaining, we never even take a moment to rejoice!  To rejoice in all of the blessings we DO have!  

"Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction.

Break the habit.

Talk about your joys."

Rita Schiano

Even when we have legitimate reasons to be complaining, didn't Jesus say to us,

"If you suffer for me, you will also reign with me."

Once again, it is not my intention to depress you and guilt you.  I am simply saying we should be rejoicing for our LORD is on our side and He has blessed us immensely.  

Take a moment (or two or three) this week to really ponder the blessings God has poured out on your life.  When you find yourself complaining (I know I do!) take a step back and think about the greater problems out there and the beautiful gifts you already possess.  

Have a splendid week!

My inspiration: THANKSGIVING

...Love, Anna...