Do you know what the worst thing about cynics is?
They don't know that they are cynical.
I had no idea either.
No idea God was answering my prayers in His own way, not mine. No idea God actually cared about my so-called "trivial problems". So I didn't pray for them. I didn't pray before I took a test, because I didn't believe God would really care. I didn't pray when my stomach was hurting, when I was running out of patience with my friends or my siblings, I didn't pray because I didn't think God would care enough about the little things to answer.
But God was answering.
God is answering.
I don't know when it was exactly God started to change my prayers. It was sometime last year, when I was going through some frustrating stomach issues. I started praying every time my stomach would start hurting. No matter where I was, I just closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and said "Lord God, if it is Your will, please help my stomach to stop hurting." Sometimes God would answer, immediately. Sometimes my stomach would stop hurting as soon as I opened my eyes, and I am not exaggerating. Other times, He wouldn't. Other times He decided to teach me trust and patience.
And in those other times, as I lay in the nurse's office, usually with some tears, I would still pray. And I would sing hymns, and I would believe that God cared. God cared for my "trivial problems". I believed nothing was too small and nothing was too big for our God.
Now you're probably wondering what all this has to do with gym class.
Well, I entered my first year in high school, no longer a cynic, but still in need of some more praying lessons. To my utter disappointment, I had discovered I had NO friends whatsoever in my gym class. Not a single one. I spent the first couple days of high school pitying myself and wishing I had at least one companion to brave the perilous lands of P.E. with me.
I figured I was the one in need of friendship. One day, a couple of girls that I sort of knew in my grade befriended me and asked me to play corn hole with them. I was so touched and happy that I now had a group to hang out with in gym.
But sooner or later, I felt this push (a Holy Spirit nudge? I think yes!) to befriend this other girl that is in my grade and had no gym companions either. She was one tough cookie. I could tell she was used to pushing people away and shutting them out. But something told me to keep trying - and I wanted nothing more than to get a smile or a hello out of her.
As the first couple months flew by, she started to open up more and more each day. I still felt utterly hopeless at making any real progress with her, and I kept praying that I would. Then one day I realized why God placed me in that gym class. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe He did send me there to make a difference in this girl's life - and maybe He sent me there to change mine.
Since then, I've grown pretty close to this girl. So many misjudge her and mistreat her without getting to know her. She's told me so much about her life. And the burdens she bears are far too great for someone as young as she is. And as much as it pains me to see her suffer, I have found such great hope in the small ways I see God working in her and in me already. I have learned to listen, to earnestly care, to pray harder, to trust, and to love despite of the world's guidelines and rules.
And as crazy and silly as it sounds, I know for a fact that God put me in that gym class for so many reasons, and my life has changed significantly through it. We should NEVER doubt God's power, God's love, or God's plans for us and for the people in our lives. He used something so simple as a P.E. class for me and for my new found friend.
Don't be a cynic.
Pray.
My inspiration: "Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them." A.A. Milne
...Love, Anna...
