Hold Out Your Hands

So. Since the last time quite a bit has gone down in this little life of mine.

One. I took a hop, skip, and a jump across the pond and spent two weeks in England.

Two. I turned the sweetest of numbers - 16.

First of all, I must say that I am astonished by how much my two weeks in England have changed me.

I mean, really.  God is amazing.  To sum up my trip and all it opened my eyes to, I wanted to share with you my last journal entry from my trip - my "conclusion".

Though I can't wait to be home at last, I can't help but feel a little pang of sadness leaving behind the greatest adventure thus far in my 16 years.  I will miss England dearly.  It holds a richer and longer and more vibrant history than any I've ever known.  

What have I learned?  So much.  So much, in fact, that more than anything, this trip has made me crave knowledge more than ever.  There's so much I want to know, to see, to experience.  And the world is so much bigger than high school and Grove City, PA.  There are so many people and so many stories that I'll never know.

And God.  God is evident throughout history.  He is sovereign.  He is wise.  He is loving.  He always wins in the end.

And cities.  Too much a swarming chaos for these meek eyes and tender heart.  Too much noise and too many lights and not enough blue sky and not enough living for all the lives that find homes there.

And stained glass windows.  They pour into my heart like they know me and want to fill me but can't because they portray heaven but do not contain it in themselves.

And martyrs.  Make me wonder in confused aching: Would I die for You?

And confidence.  I have more perspective, more hope, more direction, and assurance of who I am and what I ought to become.

And mortality.  Too many monuments, too many tombs, too many "memoriams", and Latin I can't understand and faces I'll never see.  And people, lives, love - gone  as soon as they came and forgotten in the same moment. 

And immortality.  How we weren't made for this world - not now, not ever.  And we will live or die, forever.

And believing.  How Jesus is the only thing I can hold onto.  How He is always there, always shining, even when I turn my back, even when I doubt the sun is there behind the clouds.  

And I am not running away anymore.  I am crawling, walking, flying, until I reach You.  Before then, I will learn Your world so I can know You better.

Talk about being "full".  God has really filled my life in the past few weeks by showing me His world and His love for me, and for all.  

And as I sit here on my bedroom floor writing this, I look around my room, and think for the first time in so long, "I truly am full". 

I am full of new knowledge and new perspectives.

I am full of family that loves me more than I deserve.

I am full of friends who are more than I could ever ask for.

I am full of music.

I am full of laughter.

I am full of the LORD.

All I had to do is hold out my hands to Him. 

...Love, Anna...