I'm Human, How About You?

"I am so done being nice to people," 

was my mantra this week.

Which is ironic, because last week I wrote all about love and how we should love people and all of that wonderful truth. 

But here's a shocker for you: I'm actually human.

Crazy, right? 

When I first started this blog, I promised to always be painfully honest, even if it meant criticism or even judgment.  

I'm going to be painfully honest with you this week, so brace for impact, because I just might crash-land into some hard truths.

I've always had the external attitude of "I don't care what people think of me" when, in fact, I do care.  I care deeply.

The words you read here may be brave or wise or beautiful but my life does not always reflect what I say here.

Confession?

I'm insecure.  

I'm terrified what people must think of me when they read my blog, or the expectations they may have for me that I'll never meet.  

Another confession?

I'm not a brave person.  At all.

One more?

I say things I shouldn't, gossip about people, disrespect adults, swear unnecessarily,  have little patience...and listen could go on and on.

Why am I telling you all of this?

Point is, folks, I am not perfect.  I am not someone to be admired or modeled after or depended upon.

I pour my heart out here, on this blog, because it's easy for me to write.  It's easy for me to hide behind words.  

But I am still human.  

And I never want anyone to think that what I write here is fake or phony or unrealistic.  Or that life is all sunshine and rainbows, because, trust me, it certainly is not.

Despite last week's call to "love people", I did not heed my own advice.  My week was more like "avoid people at all costs, they'll only let you down." 

It was just one of those "I'm so done being nice to people" weeks. And that's okay.  

Sorry for the rambling.

Concluding this mess of a post in 3...2...1...

...Love, Anna...