Because Life Happens

Well here I am, avoiding my notebooks and study guides and ignoring the fact that I have finals this week.

Because I'm too busy thinking about
life.

And how life
happens.

Time happens.  Time goes...too fast.

My brother got married on Saturday.  And on Wednesday, he and his wife are moving...
to Houston.

(Texas)

I don't know what to even think or write or say about all of these colliding emotions and memories and love that keep swirling all around me and I have no way to stop them.

But time is cruel in that it moves on.  It moves on without looking back.  It moves on and we have no choice but to move on with it, no matter how badly we want to pause, or to rewind, or to fast forward.

And that's okay because there is so much to look forward to.  So many new adventures and places and road trips to be had.

But I have to admit, I am really bad at endings.
I'm okay at beginnings,
pretty fantastic at middles,
and pretty fantastically horrible at
endings.

I've had to keep reminding myself that
"this is how it's supposed to be" and
"this is how you're supposed to feel".

But I know myself and I know that I fear
change
more than anything.

I know that I fear
beginnings.

But I also know that every time my eyes fill up
with tears and my heart aches
because my family lives in a different state,
it's because
love
is the greatest and most precious gift anyone can ever receive.

And I know
that even though this new chapter seems scarier and bigger and less hopeful than the one I just closed,
I know that
I am not the author, or the co-writer, or the story-teller,
and this is just the beginning.

And I know that there will be more
memories and more
love shared and more
beginnings to be had.

So, as I sit here procrastinating and pondering, I'd just like to say how thankful I am for my brother, Sam, and for my sister-in-law, Olivia, for everything they are and for everything they inspire me to be.  I love you both very much.

Here's to endings.
But mostly,
here's to beginnings.

...Love, Anna...