Thoughts from a Sleep Deprived 16-Year-Old

So this whole sleep thing...is not happening.

You'll have to forgive my half-conscious thoughts, here.

For this post I'm just going to list a bunch of random, possibly unimportant, but possibly (maybe) wise thoughts I've been having of late.

Deep breath.  Here we go.

1. School is starting on Tuesday and that sucks.  Not really the school part - I guess I'm dreading the high school part - if you know what I'm getting at.

2. I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately.  And something Maya Angelou said about it - "It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself - to forgive.  Forgive everybody."
Why is it so difficult to forgive?

3. There's a real big whopping difference between being honest and being insensitive.  As a sensitive (and often times, over-sensitive) person, I find honest people to be difficult, and honesty in general a rather hard pill to swallow.

4. I'm not above it all.  And I sure as heck don't have all my crap together.

5.  Humility vs. Giant Insecurities.  Am I humble or am I afraid?

6.  Listening.  I think it's one of the most important qualities a person can have.  We all carry untold stories inside of us, and we all want them to be heard.

7.  Cynicism.  How do you move on from hurt without becoming cynical and bitter?

8.  There may be two sides to a story, but there's only one truth.

9.  It's never as simple as it seems.  (It's never as complicated, either.)

10.  I should sleep. (But I probably won't.)

...love, anna...

And This is All I Know

All I know is that life is
horribly wonderful
and
painfully beautiful.

And that somewhere between sunrises and
graduation caps
and wedding vows
and tears,
there is growth.

And that sometimes before that growth takes place
we have to make decisions
that sometimes tear us a little.
But in order to grow,
we must stretch.

All I know is that God keeps pulling me back.
Back, constantly, and relentlessly,
despite my foolish meanderings,
my attempts to carry it all,
my refusal to let go.

And I have so much further to go,
and I am so tired.

But He is not finished with me yet.

This unfolding of years is my story,
and I am not the author,
but you're welcome to read.

All I know is that somewhere between
the bitterness,
the anger,
the months of keeping it all in,
the walls I've built,
and the words I'm too afraid to say,
is a God who knows,
a God who sees,
who loves,
who forgives.

He is writing this story, these words, and He's not finished yet.

And this is all I know.

...Love, Anna...

Okay, I Lied

I know I said I'd be back in September but here I am,
it's August 10th,
and I can think of little else.

I'm not sure I'm ready to recount all of my adventures this summer or spit out some deep and meaningful rant about life.

I just want to stop by, say hello, so you know I still exist and still have something to say.

The dwindling weeks of summer will soon give way to another year of school and craziness, but as my brother reminds me quite frequently,

"A man never steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man." ~Heraclitus

That is all for today.

It's good to be back.

...Love, Anna...