Dimly

"for now we see in a mirror dimly"

and is this mirror dim?

I don't know what I see or how brightly I see it.

I can't help it - these descending leaves and this crescendoing of years is what gets me.

there was a time when there were twelve hands around our table and though I feel sufficient with six, I am not whole without

the other half.

"then we shall see face to face"

here we go 'round the clock again, and yet, I think these changing colors can only signify another season of darkness.

conflicted again, I go to the mirror in search of some beauty, am I not face to face with the fact of 

falling?

here I go - mending and lending my sarcasm.

was it not for the hope of something

that we fell?

"for now we see in a mirror dimly"

wouldn't I love to be more than dimly noted -

there stands she, more or less enough.

"then we shall see face to face"

there must be something metaphorically wrong with me,

I see too brightly.

...love, anna...

Echoes

if there's anything I've learned from
tears
it's that pain is not relative -
if it hurts, it hurts.

if there's anything I want you to know,
it's this -
that you are not
an echo.

and if you're somewhere wondering
with age-old tears
how many times you must send your echoes
into the past
until you finally realize how very far you are
from it,

let me tell you that
you are far
and wide
and deeply
separated from
it.

and no amount of tears or guilt or self-hate
can ever amount to how much
worth you are
in His arms

or how very far and wide and deeply
He has forgiven you.

and if you're sitting, wondering who or what or why it is
that you've cried so much for,
let me tell you that you

are so much more loved
than you could ever dare dream.

that you

are very much alive
and very much forgiven.

I know - you think you can't overcome -
you think you'll never be more than
an echo,
reverberating through
past mistakes -
softer, softer,
until you
fade.

I know - there is much pain.

but somewhere between birthmarks and crows' feet
you'll be okay

somewhere -
between side A and side B,
you'll find your way.

and I know that you are so much more than
an echo
and you deserve so much more than to
hear yourself vibrating along
empty walls.

and if there's anything I've learned from tears it's that
pain is not relative,

and if you're wondering how many more times you must
echo into the past...

if it hurts, it hurts.

Why I am Unabashed (and why you should be too)

In the recent months I've been working on a project that deals with an issue I'm very passionate about.

It's the issue of beauty.

And I know...I KNOW...

you're probably tired of hearing that 

"You're beautiful no matter what they say"

and

"It's what's on the inside that counts."

These things may be true, however, my goal is not to reiterate everything you've been told a million times simply because I know if I do that no one will listen.

I'm tired of hearing it too.

My mission is NOT to through a bunch of cliches at you and call it a day.  I'm not trying to create some feminist soap box on which to put down men and society.  And I'm not trying to place blame on any particular party.

My mission is simply this:

To seek beauty - to seek the beauty that can only come from Christ - and to seek it boldly and unabashedly.  And if I encourage even one other girl to do the same along the way, then I'd consider that a victory.

So here it is, world - listen close girls, boys, men, women -

I am unabashed.

I'm tired of being told that I'm not 

enough -

that my beauty can only be based on numbers, scales, and measurements.

I'm tired of believing that I am somehow

lacking -

just because I can't get guys' attention.

I'm tired of seeing girls throw away their self-respect just to win 

the wrong kind of attention.

So to this generation,

and to all future generations,

let me tell you -

There's nothing wrong with you.

There's nothing wrong with loving yourself -

forgiving your flaws,

seeing past your imperfections,

and embracing the fact that here you are -

very much alive,

and very much beautiful.

I love my God and all I want is for His beauty to shine through me,

and it is inconsequential whether or not 

anyone else sees the beauty in me,

because I know who I am,

I know what I believe,

and I've chosen

to love myself and to be

unabashed of that.

...love, anna...

For more information on the project and our upcoming event on November 8th at Beans on Broad, like the facebook page!

Unabashed