Don't Carry it All

By Friday of this week I was dead-beat and the only thoughts I had left were of sleep.

I find myself at the edge of this same precipice every year.

Finding the strength and will to get up every morning sometimes is about all I can muster and I've become consumed by lists and sticky notes and I'm so focused on only the things I can
cross off instead of what really
matters.

Instead of thinking "here I am" I find myself wondering
"where to next" and if for one fleeting moment I find myself sitting idle the only thought that enters my mind is
"what am I forgetting?"

I trick myself into thinking that I can carry it all,
that I have it all together -
I can be a perfect student, editor, actress, administrator, writer, friend, daughter, and sister.

I can do it all.

This past week tears and meltdowns and sleeplessness proved only that I am weak.

That I am wholly insufficient
without the steady arms of
my God.

I've found this to be true so many times I've lost count,
yet still I stand here,
staring over this canyon of all the things that
overwhelm me,
and am too stubborn to turn to the One who conquered them all.

This week, may we once again make God
the center of our lives,
and may we be humble enough to let Him
carry us.

...love, anna...